Divorce is a complicated topic, even for those that have gone through it. Indeed, there is an ever-increasing number of ex-spouses who talk about still loving their spouse (or even still being in-love with their ex-spouse). These people describe their decision to divorce as a radical act of self-love, where they have chosen their own happiness and self-love over keeping a marriage together.
Why keep the marriage together?
There is an almost dogmatic societal upholding of marriage, or at least painting post-divorce life as Hell. Indeed, the divorced dad living in squalid conditions in an efficiency apartment with no furniture is a common media trope. Divorced mothers are often depicted the same as struggling to raise their children alone and without resources. Though, a properly represented and planned divorce can avoid these issues.
We stayed together for the kids
Perhaps, the most common reason married couples give for putting off divorce is that they stayed together for the kids or waited for the kids to graduate school. The are afraid that a divorce will hurt their children. Think about the house those kids are raised in waiting for the divorce. A couple that is ready to divorce is no longer the picture of a happy, healthy relationship that children should see in the home. Instead, they are likely witnessing escalating arguments, passive aggressiveness and the weight of unhappiness every day. That is not the happy and healthy environment our kids deserve to be raised in.
Choosing one’s own happiness can lead to a happy family
The situations described above do not even have domestic violence or physiological abuse issues, and most can see they are unhealthy situations. This is why those advocating divorce as an act of radical self-love get the self-love aspect. To them, this choosing to be happy, rather than keep an unhappy marriage together is the act of self-love that, they believe (and time usually, bores out) will lead to everyone being happier. This is because both spouses are free to find their bliss and can more appropriately and happily co-parent.
Divorce is not a four-letter word
To put it simply for our Savannah, Georgia, readers, divorce is not a four-letter word. If one is unhappy, the children and spouse is likely unhappy too. This unhappiness only breads more unhappiness that breads resentment. This can all be avoided by finding one’s new life, post-divorce.